ASSHOLETERICS

Rant: Leaks, OCD and Me.

2009-07-31T17:27:00.000-07:00

Public restrooms sicken me.
To the Nth°.

I hate being in them and the way they smell like Pine-Sol® covered feces. I hate the people that frequent them, and if I could, I would hold everything until I got home, where I know what my toilet has been through.

There are two things that I have a hard time grasping. My mind races with reasons, and I have yet to come up with answers to my own questions...perhaps you can help?

1) Why do people neglect to wash their hands after being in a public restroom?
Being that I work with the public, I see this WAY too often. If you only knew how often, you might be sickened, too. On a daily basis, I see men urinate, flush (or not...), look in the mirror and perhaps adjust their hair, then walk out of the room all proud.
I have to admit, I'm one of those guys who washes their hands, then uses a paper towel to turn off the faucet as well as open the door. Sorry, but the things I've seen have forced me to be in that habit.

When I see this happen, I think something like this...
"Really!?!?!? Are you seriously not washing? You're fucking disgusting! Damn!!!"
I will later see them handling the merchandise in my store.
It really makes me want to wear plastic gloves on a constant basis.

2) What's with men pissing on toilet seats?
Again, the joy of working with the public is overwhelming.
Most of the time, I really try not to use the restrooms at work (or in most public places for that matter). One of the biggest reasons is because men will pee on anything. Seriously. Toilet seat pissers annoy me more than anything. I find myself not only wiping the toilet seat any time I have to sit down, but also using a seat cover. If no seat covers are present, I will make one from toilet paper.

My thought for this one is this:
"About 12" from where you just pissed is a GIANT roll of toilet paper. You could have torn a square off and used it to lift the seat, you lazy asshole...also, WHY ARE YOU PISSING IN THE STALL?!?!?! Urinals are far more convenient. Don't be shy of your wee wee."

That is all for now.

Blame it on the Heat

2009-07-29T15:34:00.000-07:00

Seattle is too hot. Can't think start. I just want it to be whatever temperature I want it to be. Who can make that happen, perhaps a mad scientist? If only I could find one. I'd really like it to be exactly 78 degrees. I think that sounds nice, warm, pleasant, thinking kind of weather. Not needing a siesta in the afternoon kind of weather, like this shit. Just stop it already.

PS- I am so grateful to my dad who bought me two fans back when he visited in may, thank you dad.

PPS - I think the kid in the photo might be a modern day mad scientist, oh shit, he is just another fucking hipster...lookatthisfuckinghipster.com

PPSS - sorry for the horrible writing, it is really that hot.

Death Taxes, Instant Professionals and Frenzied Followers

2009-07-19T12:52:00.000-07:00

I hate it when rock stars die. Most of the time, it's not because they're gone, but more because of what happens in the world. It's sad to watch society clamor over their body of work. Everyone quickly becomes biggest fan of said rock star and has new copies of records that they never listened to before, along with a new t-shirt or bumper sticker to advertise their dedication and appreciation for the recently deceased. I could go on and on with examples. Instead, I've narrowed it down to three.

When Johnny Cash died, the thing to do was to get a nice, brand new black shirt with his name on it, or the one with him flipping the camera off and wear it everywhere you went. Surely, the majority of people sporting those shirts had never listened to much Cash, perhaps just "I Walk The Line" or "Burning Ring of Fire". Suddenly though, they're all experts and HUGE fans...and so very sad that he's gone.

A similar phenomenon is told through record sales. Recently, Michael Jackson's life was snubbed out. His record sales immediately soared in the U.S. People were scrambling to get themselves a copy of Thriller or Bad wherever possible. I tracked some sales on eBay. Bidders were paying hundreds of dollars for a vinyl copy of Thriller. In some cases, the record was even advertised as being in poor condition, yet people were paying obscene amounts of money for the record. Retail businesses are not exempt to this pitiful "death tax". About a week after Jackson died, I was at Half Price Books up on Capitol Hill. I surprisingly found a Jacksons LP and bought it for a friend. The price tag was $3.99. When I was checking out, the clerk behind the counter said "Oh, my...we missed one!" When I asked her what she was talking about, she explained to me that after he died, they rummaged through all of their used vinyl, pulled all of the albums he made, marked them up by $5-$15 and put them on the counter for customers to find them easier. Blasphemy. Capitalizing on the death of a rock star is an atrocious thing. It makes me sick.

There's another occurrence that I encounter from time to time. The easiest way to explain it is: twelve year old kids in RIP Kurt Cobain t-shirts. I've seen them around and overheard conversations amongst themselves about how they celebrate his birthday and cry on the anniversary of his death. I usually have to fight the urge to scream: "WHAT?!?!? You weren't even BORN when he died!" Now, I understand feeling remorse for the death of someone, especially if they were an influence on your life, but not to that degree.

Quote of the Day

2009-07-19T06:50:00.000-07:00

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
- Sam Brown

Welcome fellow Assholetetics

2009-07-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

This is a blog/club for all of those people that have become or are or want to be Assholeterics...

If you are Esoteric, Elititist, or just a plain Asshole, you might just fit in here.

Please feel free to contribute Rants, Raves, Ideas, Concepts, Writings, Art Works, Ideas, and Information that furthers the lifestyle of the Assholeterics.

Be an ass and be merry.